Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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