It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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