It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
