Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
