I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
