His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
