hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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