I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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