Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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