are you so shy because you have an std?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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