Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
