i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
