I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
