Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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