This is not my ceiling
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
