it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
