I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize