I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
