Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
