420 ftw
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
