TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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