Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
