When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize