Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
