did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
