it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
PANTIES FOUND
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