I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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