I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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