I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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