but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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