i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
