I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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