i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Someone shattered a urinal.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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