Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize