I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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