i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
