We won't sleep together?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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