the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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