How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
