just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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