Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
