like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
