Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
