I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
