i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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