real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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