We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
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Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
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Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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