alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
