OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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