If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
