even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do vagina's smell?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
