I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
