did you get engaged???
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
