i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
