I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
