i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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