Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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