I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
