I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
