walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
