margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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